Friendship is a vivid relationship between people, it teaches mutual help, cooperation and honesty. Disagreements may arise in every interaction, leading to quarrels between friends. This process, although natural, should not be perceived solely as a negative event, because quarrels can contribute to personal growth and development of both parties. Psychologists emphasize that friendship plays a significant role in reducing anxiety and stress levels. In socializing with friends, we can share our experiences, discuss joyful moments or share our anxieties, which in turn makes us happier. Thus, friendship becomes one of the most extraordinary and enjoyable aspects of human life despite its difficulties and challenges.
The main reasons for quarrels between friends
The reasons for disagreements between friends can be diverse, ranging from simple offenses to serious differences in views on life. Let's consider the key reasons that are pointed out by practical psychologists.
1. Envy
As the ancient Greek poet and fable writer Aesop said: "If someone is lucky, do not envy him, but rejoice for him, and his luck will become yours, and who envies, he harms himself". This statement is true because envy does not bring anything good. An envious person spends their time thinking about someone else's success, which does them no good. In addition, those around them can feel envious looks on themselves, which can eventually lead to the end of friendship. If envy appears in a friendship, it is important to work on overcoming it and getting rid of this feeling.
2. Odd man out
The "odd man out" situation occurs when one friend begins to feel that they are being excluded from socializing, seeing as the other two friends are spending more time together and seem closer to each other. This leads to resentment and claims of "shamelessness," often causing the third friend to feel betrayed.
3. Different outlooks on life
Difference in views on life can cause deep and serious conflicts, the solution of which without finding compromises can be difficult. Unlike other problems, here concessions may not be appropriate because of fundamental differences in life orientations.
What should not be done in case of a quarrel with a friend
Blame only yourself or your friend for the conflict without understanding the reasons for the quarrel. Even if you quickly made up after a quarrel, it is important to analyze its causes together to avoid similar disagreements in the future.
Deny your guilt in the conflict. Everyone should be able to admit their mistakes and apologize to others. This demonstrates maturity and the ability to analyze one's actions.
Persuade your friend to reconcile if you feel you are not at fault. True friendship involves equal communication, and if you feel uninvolved in the conflict, but at the same time feel guilty, it is worth thinking about the value of such a relationship, where you are constantly experiencing tension.
How to fix a relationship with a friend if it is their fault?
Regardless of who is to blame for the quarrel, it is the responsibility of both parties to maintain the friendship. It is important to give the situation a little time to be able to cool down emotions and look at the conflict from different angles. Sometimes a friend may not realize their guilt, which is not uncommon in practice. In this case, it is useful to approach the conversation with the aim of understanding and finding a compromise, offering different options for solving the problem and discussing them together.
To prevent friendship destruction due to misunderstandings, you can be the first to step up, offering a serious conversation with clearly defined goals and objectives. Maintaining a calm and friendly tone will help your friend to enter into a dialog more easily and will contribute to finding a common solution. End the conversation with a light joke to lighten the mood.
It's important to remember!
If a friend is to blame for most of your conflicts, you should not always go for reconciliation first. This can lead to them feeling entitled to misbehave, which in turn can increase their self-esteem by lowering yours, causing crankiness and shifting responsibility to you. It's important to maintain your confidence and independence.
